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Fun Things to Do at Wal-Mart
Buy a ski mask and a bunch of dark clothes and tell the cashier that you need to go to the bank. :Go ask a teen male employee and to show you the tampons. :Hide in the pillow displays and jump out at random people. :Hide in the clothing racks and yell, "Pick me! Pick me! when people browse through. :Fight down the isles with Star Wars Jedi swords. :Glue a quarter to the floor and watch as people try to pick it up. :Go to the broom section and yell UP! :*Take shopping carts for the express purpose of filling them and stranding them at strategic locations. :*Ride those little electronic cars at the front of the store. :*Set all the alarm clocks to go off at ten minute intervals throughout the day. :*Start playing Calvinball; see how many people you can get to join in. :*Contaminate the entire auto department by sampling all the spray air fresheners. :*Challenge other customers to duels with tubes of gift wrap. :*Leave cryptic messages on the typewriters. :*Re-dress the mannequins as you see fit. :*When there are people behind you, walk really slow, especially thin narrow aisles. :*Walk up to an employee and tell him in an official tone, “I think we’ve got a Code 3 in Housewares,” and see what happens. :*Tune all the radios to a polka station; then turn them all off and turn the volumes to “10”. :*Play with the automatic doors. :*Walk up to complete strangers and say, “Hi! I haven’t seen you in so long!...” etc. See if they play along to avoid embarrassment. :*While walking through the clothing department, ask yourself loud enough for all to hear, “Who buys this crap, anyway?” :*Repeat Number 14 in the jewelry department. :*Ride a display bicycle through the store; claim you’re taking it for a “test drive.” :*Follow people through the aisles, always staying about five feet away. Continue to do this until they leave the department. :*Play soccer with a group of friends, using the entire store as your playing field. :*As the cashier runs your purchases over the scanner, look mesmerized and say, “Wow. Magic!” :*Put M&M’s on layaway. :*Move “Caution: Wet Floor” signs to carpeted areas. :*Set up a tent in the camping department; tell others you’ll only invite them in if they bring pillows from Bed and Bath. :*Test the fishing rods and see what you can “catch” from the other aisles. :*Ask other customers if they have any Grey Poupon. :*Drape a blanket around your shoulders and run around saying, “...I’m Batman. Come, Robin—to the Batcave!” :*TP as much of the store as possible. :*Randomly throw things over into neighboring aisles. :*Play with the calculators so that they all spell “hello” upside down. :*When someone asks if you need help, begin to cry and ask, “Why won’t you people just leave me alone?” :*When two or three people are walking ahead of you, run between them, yelling, “Red Rover!” :*Make up nonsense products and ask newly hired employees if there are any in stock, i.e., “Do you have any Shnerples here?” :*Take up an entire aisle in Toys by setting up a full scale battlefield with G.I. Joes vs. the X-Men. :*Take bets on the battle described above. :*Nonchalantly “test” the brushes and combs in Cosmetics. :*While handling guns in the hunting department, suddenly ask the clerk if he knows where the anti-depressants are. Act as spastic as possible. :*Hold indoor shopping cart races. :*Dart around suspiciously while humming the theme from Mission: Impossible. :*Attempt to fit into very large gym bags. :*Attempt to fit others into very large gym bags. :*Say things like, “Would you be so kind as to direct me to your Twinkies?” :*Set up a “Valet Parking” sign in front of the store. 42.Two words: “Marco Polo.” :*Leave Cheerios in Lawn and Garden, pillows in the pet food aisle, etc. :*“Re-alphabetize” the CD’s in Electronics. :*In the auto department, practice your “Madonna” look with various funnels. :*When someone steps away from their cart to look at something, quickly make off with it without saying a word. :*Relax in the patio furniture until you get kicked out. :*When an announcement comes over the loudspeaker, assume the fetal position and scream, “No, no! It’s those voices again!” :*Pay off layaways fifty cents at a time. :*Drag a lounge chair on display over to the magazines and relax. If the store has a food court, buy a soft drink; explain that you don’t get out much, and ask if they can put a little umbrella in it. Category:Business Humor